Sim1Three is the Magic Number
March 5th 2010 23:12
I am really sorry, dear readers, that I have been absent for so long. I didn’t even realise I had been away until I received the dreaded email from Orble: ‘You haven’t entertained your readership (an offence as grave as stealing fizzy lifting drink), you put Baby in the corner, and we will close down Fish On Film. Hasta la vista, baby.’
I have truly been busy with stuff, but I don’t wish to bore you with details. Instead I have dug out an old film review for you. From the depth of my 500GB hard drive, I bring you a review that you probably don’t want to read, but it will keep Fish on Film alive, at least until I watch another Danny Elfman movie.
It’s not like I haven’t watched any films- I have! But none of them were worth writing blog about. Take ‘8 Mile’, for example. I loves Eminem but the only redeeming feature of that particular pile of crap was the sex scene. And you can’t base a review entirely on a sex scene, especially if one of the actors is now dead. It’s not done. At least not on FoF.
So I leave you with the thoughts I formulated in 2007 when my then-employer treated its employees to a free movie night every now and then, complete with free popcorn, ice cream and room-temperature CocaCola. When we came to attend this particular freebie, we’d already had a couple of employer-sponsored movie nights and funnily enough, the films we saw had all been parts of trilogies.
Was 2007 the year of the thirds, or what!?
So, Ocean’s 13 then…. In ye olde tradition, the pissheads among us went for a few schooners before subjecting ourselves to (what potentially would be) a disastrous movie. Unfortunately, we were so engrossed in our beer, that we forgot we had to attend a cinematic event. By the time we eventually arrived at the Greater Union on George Street, the film had started.
I couldn’t tell you how much we had missed, but let’s face it- there’s GC, BP, MD and Co. robbing stuff, yeah? It’s been the case for the last 2 films, so why would this be any different??
It wasn’t!
Now, I know you are dying for the review…
‘Ocean’s 13’ was the easy-listening version of movies. Very easy on the eye- majestic buildings, glittering diamonds and a guy coming out in hives. Seriously though, although not a fan of George Clooney or Brad Pitt (and don’t get me started on Matt Damon- why was he wearing a witch’s nose??), the film provided more eye candy than the previous two- Toby ‘Look I’m a dork’ Maguire and Orlando ‘Legolegs’ Bloom.
There was a bit of subtle humour as opposed to dorky Spiderman-jokes.
And most importantly of all, the spectacle didn’t go on for three days! The boys went in, planned a heist, stole shit, got robbed by a two-faced git and ended up…
WARNING- SPOILERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Donating the 72 million dollars worth of diamonds they nicked to a children’s home…. Beautiful!
All in all a pleasant movie, though perhaps not worth rushing out to purchase the DVD. Of course, there were more company-sponsored movie nights and guess what the next one was? Yes, 'The Bourne Ultimatum'.
I have truly been busy with stuff, but I don’t wish to bore you with details. Instead I have dug out an old film review for you. From the depth of my 500GB hard drive, I bring you a review that you probably don’t want to read, but it will keep Fish on Film alive, at least until I watch another Danny Elfman movie.
So I leave you with the thoughts I formulated in 2007 when my then-employer treated its employees to a free movie night every now and then, complete with free popcorn, ice cream and room-temperature CocaCola. When we came to attend this particular freebie, we’d already had a couple of employer-sponsored movie nights and funnily enough, the films we saw had all been parts of trilogies.
Was 2007 the year of the thirds, or what!?
So, Ocean’s 13 then…. In ye olde tradition, the pissheads among us went for a few schooners before subjecting ourselves to (what potentially would be) a disastrous movie. Unfortunately, we were so engrossed in our beer, that we forgot we had to attend a cinematic event. By the time we eventually arrived at the Greater Union on George Street, the film had started.
It wasn’t!
Now, I know you are dying for the review…
‘Ocean’s 13’ was the easy-listening version of movies. Very easy on the eye- majestic buildings, glittering diamonds and a guy coming out in hives. Seriously though, although not a fan of George Clooney or Brad Pitt (and don’t get me started on Matt Damon- why was he wearing a witch’s nose??), the film provided more eye candy than the previous two- Toby ‘Look I’m a dork’ Maguire and Orlando ‘Legolegs’ Bloom.
There was a bit of subtle humour as opposed to dorky Spiderman-jokes.
And most importantly of all, the spectacle didn’t go on for three days! The boys went in, planned a heist, stole shit, got robbed by a two-faced git and ended up…
WARNING- SPOILERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Donating the 72 million dollars worth of diamonds they nicked to a children’s home…. Beautiful!
All in all a pleasant movie, though perhaps not worth rushing out to purchase the DVD. Of course, there were more company-sponsored movie nights and guess what the next one was? Yes, 'The Bourne Ultimatum'.
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