Sim1Three is still the number, but it’s no longer magic
April 9th 2010 19:59
Seeing as our last conversation, dear readers, was on the subject of trilogies, I feel I ought to share my thoughts on yet another ‘Shit Movie, The Third’.
You may know it as ‘Spiderman 3’. I saw it in Sydney’s George Street Cinema right on Premiere Night. The most expensive film to have been made to that day (apparently).
I hadn’t seen Spiderman 1 or 2, because, well, I’m not keen on Tobey Maguire and it’s, well, Spiderman! I’m not 5 anymore!
Still, my fellow movie-goers (aka my friends) assured me that prior knowledge was not necessary, so all was good. Until the film started, that is.
What a crock of shit!!! It went on for at least 7 hours, the plot was somewhat dubious, Tobey Maguire looked like a dork throughout the whole 8 hours of the film, Kirsten Dunst looked anorexic for the entire 9 hours of the film and every time you thought a baddie had been dealt with- they would re-appear! Made out of clay, or someink.
There’s a bit where Peter Parker/ ‘Spidey’ turns funny in the head and prances around town like an even bigger dork than he was already! Oh, and in the end…when Spiderwits comes face to face with his nemesis who tried to deaden him throughout the 12 hours of the film, they exchange some pleasantries and bad man disappears and all is well.
Shocking! I have seen bad films in my time (‘Perfect Catch’, ‘Lost in Translation’ and ‘SWAT’ to name merely three) but I thoroughly regret spending 14 hours of my life sitting through 15 and a half hours of spider-shit.
Reading how successful Spiderwank was at the box office, I am concerned for society.
And so I ask you, dear readers; you, who are not like the others: Is Verbal Kint really Keiser Soze???
You may know it as ‘Spiderman 3’. I saw it in Sydney’s George Street Cinema right on Premiere Night. The most expensive film to have been made to that day (apparently).
I hadn’t seen Spiderman 1 or 2, because, well, I’m not keen on Tobey Maguire and it’s, well, Spiderman! I’m not 5 anymore!
Still, my fellow movie-goers (aka my friends) assured me that prior knowledge was not necessary, so all was good. Until the film started, that is.
There’s a bit where Peter Parker/ ‘Spidey’ turns funny in the head and prances around town like an even bigger dork than he was already! Oh, and in the end…when Spiderwits comes face to face with his nemesis who tried to deaden him throughout the 12 hours of the film, they exchange some pleasantries and bad man disappears and all is well.
Shocking! I have seen bad films in my time (‘Perfect Catch’, ‘Lost in Translation’ and ‘SWAT’ to name merely three) but I thoroughly regret spending 14 hours of my life sitting through 15 and a half hours of spider-shit.
Reading how successful Spiderwank was at the box office, I am concerned for society.
And so I ask you, dear readers; you, who are not like the others: Is Verbal Kint really Keiser Soze???
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