Sim1Sex and the Desert
June 4th 2010 21:58
Don’t you just hate it, dear readers, when you go to the cinema with certain expectations and then they don’t come true?
This has happened to me today. I went to see Sex and the City 2 and I was bitterly disappointed! I mean, sure, the cinema was cold as ever, which is why I brought my cardigan. No nasty surprises there.
The chewy sweets were overpriced, yet delicious. Just as I anticipated. Chewy sweets are, ultimately, a girls’ best friend because the chewing action required, burns the calories of the sweet as you eat it. Very efficient. The same cannot be said for ice cream and chocolate, for they purely melt on your tongue.
But anyway, I digress. I went to see Sex and the City 2, fully prepared for an abomination. I mean, the first one was diabolical, wasn’t it? It was a farce! The story lines were absolutely ludicrous! After six years of following the girls on TV; knowing their every move, thought and painstaking beauty routine, Sex and the City The Movie was trying to tell us that Miranda had the Amazon growing out of her bikini because she ‘hadn’t had time to shave’. COME. ON! Not in six years has this ever happend, and never in a million years will it ever happen. Just like Charlotte would not shit herself. She just wouldn’t. Ludicrous!
So I fully expected more unnecessary nonsense tonight in Sex and the City 2.
Why would you go and see a film you know is going to be shit? I hear some of you ask. May I refer those of you who have asked this to the sentence above that clearly confirms my being a SATC-Fan. And as a fan, you stick by your chosen obsession. You buy the shit album of the pop band you love, you stick by your football team when it is relegated and you go and watch Sex and the City 2.
And what a bloody awesome movie it was! Any film that has Liza Minelli doing a Beyonce and addressing All the Single Ladies gets my vote. Genius. I also tip my hat to the person who came up with the one story line that never crossed my mind in all the years I’ve obsessively watched SATC: Stanford and Anthony are a couple! Again- genius. They hated each other from the word go, so of course it is good Hollywood etiquette that they should end up together. But seriously, it had never crossed my mind.
In this second offering, the characters are back to their old selves. Carrie is being neurotic as ever, fretting over her relationship with Big. Thankfully Big didn’t send her any poems by email this time. Which, by the way, was yet another bollocks story line from the first movie. No, Big is back where he belongs- sitting in a black chauffeur-driven limousing outside Carrie’s apartment.
Samantha still, after all these years, has a handbag full of condoms even at the age of ‘fifty-fucking-two’, Charlotte is still concerned with being prim and proper and upholding random old-fashioned values; and Miranda...well Miranda is still all work and no play but she’s also the one who I’d go to in a crisis- any crisis- and who says things like ‘Abu Dhabi do’.
The whole ‘take a sip’-scene was hilarious. Charlotte and Miranda- the only mothers in our beloved foursome- have a heart to heart over a cocktail. Miranda keeps ordering Charlotte to ‘take a sip!’ before getting her to admit that she’s struggling with motherhood. And if her husband was to have an affair with the nanny, her first thought would be ‘I can’t lose my nanny!’. Brilliant.
Of course, some of the stuff is over the top, as ever. ‘Cover up! You keep flashing religious men.’ I, for one, have never heard of a gay Arabian butler named (Paula) Abdul, but where the first installment got a lot of headshaking from Fish on Film, this one got a lot of laughs. And some near-tear moments, too. Like that karaoke scene.
The outfits were more outrageous than ever (what WAS Samantha wearing in the karaoke bar??) and the amount of Speedo-clad cocks (and totty in general) was outstanding.
Fish on Film suddenly even loves John Corbett. FoF has never been keen on Aiden, but good Lord, he looks mighty fine with his fine silver-go-faster stripes. (I think the technical term is ‘salt and pepper hair’ or some such shit.)
Here, at Fish on Film Headquarters, I was also most enamoured with Max Ryan, who plays Rikard. Gorgeous, I tell you! And of course, Jason Lewis as Smith Jerrod....He’s always been too good looking to be legal but here he just takes the biscuit. Bloody hell! That scene where he takes his shirt off in the desert....trust me, dear readers, that scene will be on constant replay as soon as I get SATC 2 on DVD.
As I consult my online film bible- imdb.com- I realise that John Corbett is 49 years old. Max Ryan is 43. Jason Lewis will be 39 in a couple of weeks.
I am suddenly having my very own Carrie-Bradshaw-moment, as it dawns on me: It’s not that I fancy old geezers. It’s probably to do with the fact that I’m not in my twenties anymore. FUCK!
This has happened to me today. I went to see Sex and the City 2 and I was bitterly disappointed! I mean, sure, the cinema was cold as ever, which is why I brought my cardigan. No nasty surprises there.
The chewy sweets were overpriced, yet delicious. Just as I anticipated. Chewy sweets are, ultimately, a girls’ best friend because the chewing action required, burns the calories of the sweet as you eat it. Very efficient. The same cannot be said for ice cream and chocolate, for they purely melt on your tongue.
So I fully expected more unnecessary nonsense tonight in Sex and the City 2.
Why would you go and see a film you know is going to be shit? I hear some of you ask. May I refer those of you who have asked this to the sentence above that clearly confirms my being a SATC-Fan. And as a fan, you stick by your chosen obsession. You buy the shit album of the pop band you love, you stick by your football team when it is relegated and you go and watch Sex and the City 2.
In this second offering, the characters are back to their old selves. Carrie is being neurotic as ever, fretting over her relationship with Big. Thankfully Big didn’t send her any poems by email this time. Which, by the way, was yet another bollocks story line from the first movie. No, Big is back where he belongs- sitting in a black chauffeur-driven limousing outside Carrie’s apartment.
Samantha still, after all these years, has a handbag full of condoms even at the age of ‘fifty-fucking-two’, Charlotte is still concerned with being prim and proper and upholding random old-fashioned values; and Miranda...well Miranda is still all work and no play but she’s also the one who I’d go to in a crisis- any crisis- and who says things like ‘Abu Dhabi do’.
The whole ‘take a sip’-scene was hilarious. Charlotte and Miranda- the only mothers in our beloved foursome- have a heart to heart over a cocktail. Miranda keeps ordering Charlotte to ‘take a sip!’ before getting her to admit that she’s struggling with motherhood. And if her husband was to have an affair with the nanny, her first thought would be ‘I can’t lose my nanny!’. Brilliant.
Of course, some of the stuff is over the top, as ever. ‘Cover up! You keep flashing religious men.’ I, for one, have never heard of a gay Arabian butler named (Paula) Abdul, but where the first installment got a lot of headshaking from Fish on Film, this one got a lot of laughs. And some near-tear moments, too. Like that karaoke scene.
The outfits were more outrageous than ever (what WAS Samantha wearing in the karaoke bar??) and the amount of Speedo-clad cocks (and totty in general) was outstanding.
Fish on Film suddenly even loves John Corbett. FoF has never been keen on Aiden, but good Lord, he looks mighty fine with his fine silver-go-faster stripes. (I think the technical term is ‘salt and pepper hair’ or some such shit.)
Here, at Fish on Film Headquarters, I was also most enamoured with Max Ryan, who plays Rikard. Gorgeous, I tell you! And of course, Jason Lewis as Smith Jerrod....He’s always been too good looking to be legal but here he just takes the biscuit. Bloody hell! That scene where he takes his shirt off in the desert....trust me, dear readers, that scene will be on constant replay as soon as I get SATC 2 on DVD.
As I consult my online film bible- imdb.com- I realise that John Corbett is 49 years old. Max Ryan is 43. Jason Lewis will be 39 in a couple of weeks.
I am suddenly having my very own Carrie-Bradshaw-moment, as it dawns on me: It’s not that I fancy old geezers. It’s probably to do with the fact that I’m not in my twenties anymore. FUCK!
| 53 |
| Vote |
subscribe to this blog
