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Ralph in the Toilet

March 9th 2007 06:40
Ralph's flick
Ralph's flick










I have one question;

If you had a wank on a flight, would you then qualify for the ½ Mile-high Club?


Maybe not. Maybe just the Sad-mile Club.

Some people have questioned the validity of the Fiennes/Hostess encounter and whether such an activity could be executed in such a confined space. I have been on many planes. Travelled to many countries and have never been in an aviation toilet that wouldn’t allow any form of deviant behaviour. In terms of space.

Travelling business class always instils a certain element of the adventurous sprit. The spirit is lost in economy. Squashed up in seats designed for anorexic circus performers - your only thought is how to respond to the constant elbow jabs from Mrs Chubby Happy Valley in the next seat.
Business class is different.
It’s almost first class. And if they can have all the fun and you happen to be famous and the chick handing out Whisky Sours has that certain…
It’s off to the toilet as soon as the isle lights are dimmed and Miss Whateverhernameis is on her break.

Go-go romance.
And flying is romantic. How else would you explain an AIDS Ambassador having un-safe sex.

It’s just like a film, The English Patsy – real life meets art.

Until next time and happy film-making.


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