Eric SamulskiNext big Aussie car movie
August 6th 2007 10:15
Bolwell go-go
During my radio spot last week I mentioned that I could only think of 8 Australian car movies worth talking about.
How sad is that?
Ok, no-one’s got the go-go enough to make an Aussie car film.
Let me tell you – the response was phenomenal. People were hand-shaking, back-patting and although no money changed hands I’m sure I’m onto a good thing.
Step 1: Cast
So far; Rusty Crowe, Big “red” Kidman, Tommy Raudonikis and of course Bill Hunter.
Step 2: Synopsis
Jimmy Textile, a washed-up ex-boxer/private investigator (Rusty) is hired by a mysteriously seductive temptress (Big Red) to deliver a car to her soon-to-be ex-husband (Raudonikis). Textile picks up the Bolwell Nagari (Australian V8 classic) and sets out on the 1400km journey – a journey that is more ride than joy. He’s bitten off more than he can chew – but when life hits rock bottom even chaos is like a holiday in paradise.
Step 3: Scene one
Textile is seated at an outside table of a city cafe. He is unshaven, shaking slightly and lighting a cigarette from a smouldering butt. A sexy redheaded woman sits down at the table next to him. She is facing away but is obviously there to meet him.
Textile:
Nice legs.
Ms Fromgerre:
Cough all you want homeless, I’m here on business.
Textile:
So talk.
Ms Fromgerre:
Listen to me Textile.
Textile:
My friends call me Jimmy.
Ms Fromgerre:
Listen to me idiot, I make more in an hour than you make in a week. I have to get this car to that fuck ex-husband of mine in six days or he’ll be squealing like a sissy pig, so here’s the deal - $150 a day you just drive the thing don’t look though it, don’t think about it, just do it.
Textile:
I’m worth $200.
Ms Fromgerre:
Well you got $125, so tell me how you feel.
Textile has this look – the look of someone’s who’s been screwed all his life.
Textile:
Deal.
The redheaded woman stands, throws across an envelope and leaves. Textile finishes his cigarette, lights another off the butt and looks across as the woman gets into a long black limo. As the waiter approaches Textile, a woman can be heard in the background screaming; “He’s going to jump.” A body (Bill Hunter) falls onto the table and chairs behind Textile. The waiter is horrified.
Textile: (to waiter)
My day just gets worse.
I will be dedicating the rest of the week to writing this movie.
Until next time and happy film-making.
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