Eric SamulskiFunding Pitch
December 21st 2006 05:10
We choose to stay at...
"Scene ten, the turd in the Tupperware dish - it's a little low-brow for the ABC."
And so ended the pitch that was to sell our script; that was to be our television debut. The ABC comedy development officer we offended was the protectorate of a money pool - part of the mountainous public purse that makes up what the dreamers dream is the arts funding bonanza.
I was told I was an outsider: "You don't fit in, don't know the right people, didn't get the right education. You have to be an insider to make it". When I sobered up I took it as a complement. But do I really qualify? People are crying at real estate auctions - no-one feels my pain.
"It's just not fair," I tell my stationer.
The replacement for my printer cartridge costs double the value of the printer it serves.
"You want fair? Get yourself a Ferris wheel," he yells back.
Nicole Kidman had a rubber nose - she got an Oscar.
I've always believed art needs to be self-funded. Government subsidies should be focused on industries that, while they're never going to be self sufficient, should at least employ workers who support families. Like mung-bean farming or shale-oil manufacturing. Film-makers who churn out million dollar public-funded movies making a fraction back and calling themselves independent need to step into the real world. Not since the dot.com joke has losing other people's money been something to be proud of.
Arts funding needs to be channelled. It's sad seeing hard-earned tax dollars paying for catering trucks dishing out tofu on wishy-washy films only one per cent of the population will ever see. I say; make grants smaller and more frequent. Not more money but more people getting a slice of it
I say make funding accessible.
That makes sense. Sure, defecating in Tupperware is low-brow - but it's now. Les Murray hosting the World Cup Soccer standing up, that's now. Now is what the Government should be funding - they've got it half right with Les but we need to go the full distance. We need more.
We need to filter out the insiders and give control to the outsiders - get some fresh ideas. OK, I'm sounding like some hippy orgy-lovin' green leftie - but hey, I've owned an old Volkswagen and I can see beyond the A-list yo-yos.
The administration of all Australian arts funding needs to be re-focussed. Give it to the Government of Nauru. Then everybody would be outsiders trying to get in. That makes even more sense and it's so now it's scary that one person could come up with such a brilliant idea.
In fact, I'm going to put together a proposal for the Leon Fish Pacific Arts Funding Solution - so, get ready and hide all Tupperware.
Until next time and happy film-making.
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