Sim1Bob Marley and the zombie in the bath tub
June 5th 2009 05:35
I recently had the pleasure of watching Will Smith’s latest cinematic spectacle- ‘I Am Legend’.
From the title, I assumed that it was a movie about the grammatically challenged, but from the adverts on TV and in the papers, I learnt differently. I mean, nowadays, they tell you the entire plot (or lack thereof) in the trailer! Lucky they do though, because the film itself goes from a TV interview with a female scientist (‘So you have found a cure for cancer?’, ‘Yes we have.’) to Will Smith chasing rabid deer through New York city. What went on there, you wonder? But the weirdness doesn’t stop there.
Will Smith also talks to shop dummies.
And he sleeps in the bath tub.
And he pours Toilet Duck (or some other bleach-like liquid) onto his front steps.
Sadly, a lot of these things don’t get explained in the film and one would need to read the book to understand that, for example, the toilet duck is to throw the zombies off the scent of Dr. Robert Whatshisface (Will Smith) and Sammy (the dog).
However, even the book doesn’t explain the sleeping with the dog in the bath tub, but those in the know have suggested that it might be something to do with hiding from the zombies. Personally, I think it’s sheer lunacy when you have a perfectly comfy bed.
In between displaying this odd behaviour, our main hero likes to rock out to a bit of Bob Marley. ‘Don’t worry…about a thang….cos every little thing….is gonna be alright…’
Actually, when I say ‘our main hero’, I mean the only character in the film -let’s face it, zombies all look the same and the ones we see here aren’t legend, but the rejects that didn’t get through the audition for ‘Resident Evil Volume 67’ and ‘Mr. Vampire’ (the zombie movie equivalent to ‘So You Think You Can Dance’, where contestants must dance on tables covered in rice to keep the half-dead at bay).
Anyway, I digress.
The film has everything you would expect from something made in Hollywood. We have the buff hero, (and a meaningless body building scene in which our buff hero gets to show off his abs).
A tear-wrenching drama scene in which the doggie gets bitten by Geronimo the zombie and subsequently turns into a bald zombie retriever, resulting in our buff hero having to break her (yes, the dog is female) neck.
Fact: ‘I Am Leg-End’ stars Will Smith’s daughter Willow, because Smith’s last film ‘The Pursuit of Happyness’ (longest film of 2007 apart from ‘Spidershit 3’) starred his son Jaden. Sadly, Willow Smith aka Marley Neville gets sliced by an erroneous helicopter pretty early on in the filim.
The turn in the movie comes when, out of nowhere, up pop Anna and Ethan. Well fed, clothed and unharmed, they rescue Robert Neville from an over-excited zombie and then have the audacity to help themselves to his breakfast items. ‘I was saving that bacon’, Will Smith barks at them in a non-impressed kind of way.
The highlight of the movie for me was the ‘Butterfly headbutt’. As Robert, Anna and Ethan are barricaded inside Robert’s office, entirely made out of glass, the zombies that have previously been scared of light, all of a sudden round in on the three remaining humans in the well-lit glass cage. The CZ (Chief Zombie) starts head-butting the glass and guess what, his headbutting creates a perfect butterfly shape! Genius! So Robert Neville takes that as a sign to bottle up the antidote to the alledged cancer cure and give it to Anna and Ethan before shoving them into the fireplace as a means for them to escape. Then he blows the zombies and himself up. The End.
There are talks about a second movie, in which producers aim to divulge exactly WHAT Robert Neville was saving the bacon for.
From the title, I assumed that it was a movie about the grammatically challenged, but from the adverts on TV and in the papers, I learnt differently. I mean, nowadays, they tell you the entire plot (or lack thereof) in the trailer! Lucky they do though, because the film itself goes from a TV interview with a female scientist (‘So you have found a cure for cancer?’, ‘Yes we have.’) to Will Smith chasing rabid deer through New York city. What went on there, you wonder? But the weirdness doesn’t stop there.
And he sleeps in the bath tub.
And he pours Toilet Duck (or some other bleach-like liquid) onto his front steps.
Sadly, a lot of these things don’t get explained in the film and one would need to read the book to understand that, for example, the toilet duck is to throw the zombies off the scent of Dr. Robert Whatshisface (Will Smith) and Sammy (the dog).
However, even the book doesn’t explain the sleeping with the dog in the bath tub, but those in the know have suggested that it might be something to do with hiding from the zombies. Personally, I think it’s sheer lunacy when you have a perfectly comfy bed.
In between displaying this odd behaviour, our main hero likes to rock out to a bit of Bob Marley. ‘Don’t worry…about a thang….cos every little thing….is gonna be alright…’
Actually, when I say ‘our main hero’, I mean the only character in the film -let’s face it, zombies all look the same and the ones we see here aren’t legend, but the rejects that didn’t get through the audition for ‘Resident Evil Volume 67’ and ‘Mr. Vampire’ (the zombie movie equivalent to ‘So You Think You Can Dance’, where contestants must dance on tables covered in rice to keep the half-dead at bay).
The film has everything you would expect from something made in Hollywood. We have the buff hero, (and a meaningless body building scene in which our buff hero gets to show off his abs).
A tear-wrenching drama scene in which the doggie gets bitten by Geronimo the zombie and subsequently turns into a bald zombie retriever, resulting in our buff hero having to break her (yes, the dog is female) neck.
Fact: ‘I Am Leg-End’ stars Will Smith’s daughter Willow, because Smith’s last film ‘The Pursuit of Happyness’ (longest film of 2007 apart from ‘Spidershit 3’) starred his son Jaden. Sadly, Willow Smith aka Marley Neville gets sliced by an erroneous helicopter pretty early on in the filim.
The turn in the movie comes when, out of nowhere, up pop Anna and Ethan. Well fed, clothed and unharmed, they rescue Robert Neville from an over-excited zombie and then have the audacity to help themselves to his breakfast items. ‘I was saving that bacon’, Will Smith barks at them in a non-impressed kind of way.
The highlight of the movie for me was the ‘Butterfly headbutt’. As Robert, Anna and Ethan are barricaded inside Robert’s office, entirely made out of glass, the zombies that have previously been scared of light, all of a sudden round in on the three remaining humans in the well-lit glass cage. The CZ (Chief Zombie) starts head-butting the glass and guess what, his headbutting creates a perfect butterfly shape! Genius! So Robert Neville takes that as a sign to bottle up the antidote to the alledged cancer cure and give it to Anna and Ethan before shoving them into the fireplace as a means for them to escape. Then he blows the zombies and himself up. The End.
There are talks about a second movie, in which producers aim to divulge exactly WHAT Robert Neville was saving the bacon for.
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